What do you do when you’re not forgiving others well? Ever feel like a failure here?

First, confess it to the Lord. Often, we’re ashamed to admit this about ourselves (usually we also need to confess our pride to the Lord). He knows everything about us. Would we be ashamed to confess to our doctor that we’re sick? Maybe, especially if we’re sick because of our own neglect. But the Lord knows we need him. Do we know how much we need him? Jesus says, “Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden.” If we’re not forgiving others, we’re weary and heavy laden. We qualify. Thus, run to our Savior. Paul encouraged the Thessalonian believers to look to the Lord who was faithful. (Not look to themselves.) God would guard and establish them. Then he said, prayerfully, “May God direct your hearts to God’s love and to the steadfastness of Christ.” It wasn’t about overanalyzing one’s spiritual condition and thus looking inwardly even more. But he was calling for an outward look. Look to the only One who could ever solve your sin problem. It was true that you needed to look to the Lord when you first called on him for salvation. And you need him now; you still must come to him poor: empty hands and empty mouth; you still need to do that if you’re going to grow in Christ. His good news is still good news to you as a Christian. So, fear not; come to him now, and confess that you’re lousy at forgiving others.

Second, run to Scripture. Soak your mind in all the passages about forgiveness. Recall what Christ has done–for you and for others. Don’t forget those passages about what he’ll do for you. His love for you can overflow as can your love for others. Also, note those warning passages if you harden your heart (Hebrews 3:15). Be warned; this is serious. 

Third, confess your sin to a maturing, trusted Christian at your church. In other words, run to your church family. Find a trusted brother (or if you’re a woman, a trusted sister) at your church. Can you share this with your pastor or someone else in your congregation? (See James 5:9, 14-15.)

Then, when needed, repeat these steps. I’m not saying the above steps are all there is to forgiving well. But these steps ought to get you started, get us started. Don’t settle for staying stuck; that’s called bitterness. Lean into your church and into the Lord’s Word. You will find help. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

-GSiV

 (GSiV: repentance; Humility; Sanctification; Nhu mì và Khiêm nhường, Part 6; Killing Resentment; Khi bạn không dễ tha thứ)